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6th August 2001
The End
About half way through this book it stopped being really funny and became a slightly tragic tale of a bored, unappreciated housewife, who just had enough glamorous friends and family to convince us that she might run in swanky circles full of rich folks occasionally.
It the one thing about this type of book that endlessly frustrates me, it's not enough to write about what to most people is a typical life, with children with nits and potty training without having to include It girls and champagne at some point. It removes the people in the book from us, sets them apart…we don't get invited to celebrity parties and go for expensive facials…we go to boots and try to convince ourselves that the apricot facial scrub is as good as any Elizabeth Arden £100 a bottle gloop from a boutique. We also know this to be crap. But for the most part we're too busy jumping through hoops and trying to make ends meet to give it too much thought.
Let's be clear, this is a good book and well worth a read, it's very down to earth…for the most part. It could just do without the needless glittery touches. Certain parts were just cringe worthy, the stunningly beauteous contemporary dancer, who falls for her despite her obnoxious and drunken interview technique. I'm all for an injection of romance, however reality check people!! Convenient plot element aside, it was just too corny. Her family also made me cringe at times, fair enough two glamorous and skinny sisters and an Elizabeth Taylor clone for a mother could happen…but it just didn't quite work. I think it was the mix of upper class sensibilities, trust funds and endless diets that didn't quite gel with our heroine's slightly frumpish suburban life.
Now let me get tot the real crux of the matter. Robert. In my initial preamble I mentioned that he was sweet and tender, that he and Clara were best friends despite the fire having left their marriage a while ago…well I was wrong. He was a shit, from the last review on he turned into a shallow, self-absorbed asshole. What this woman was doing with him in the first place I don't know, why she stayed eight years is a mystery! What started out as teasing rapidly became
patronizing and eventually turned offensive. However, credit where it's due, he didn't cheat on her…instead he got a job in another country and informed her he wouldn't be returning with her after their weekend away!! Did I mention he was a shit? Here's the grand climax, after an initial burst of tears, Clara took it well!! What kind of reaction was that! Here was a guy who barely acknowledged their children's existence leaving, without any warning and she goes 'oh well, it was on the cards', well fuck that!! I at the very least wanted her to take his impeccably packed case and throw it out of the Paris hotel honeymoon suit window! Might have finally got the dick's attention.
The thing that annoyed me is the premise that when treated badly you're expected to rise above it and act like a grown up, well it's not all it's cracked up to be! When Clara's friend Tamsin discovered she was pregnant by a tiny penised one night stand they played a game, 'what would Madonna do?' And as a result decided that what Madonna would do is keep the baby, it was something Tamsin had dreamed about, so what if the father was less than. If only Clara had thought this way when her husband had dumped her from a great height…and done the same to him! Madonna wouldn't have sat idly by and let him justify his continued prickdom, she'd have kicked his ass up the Champs Elysées and made him
realize what he was missing by chowing down on the face of some studly French bloke while he picked his sorry ass off the pavement! Not our Clara, she acts like a grown up…and invites him to her mother's wedding! And she's nice to him! Ack, totally spoilt the book for me…but hey, read it anyway, there are some funny parts.
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